Sunday, Oct. 22, 2006 / 5:34 a.m.
Never the One

I'm laying here restless
Anothing night eludes me without sleep
I can't help but remember
The promises I never got to keep

You needed someone to rely
Dependable to be there day in and day out
But I was off chasing rainbows
Wrapped up in childish dreams of fortune and love and having it all
So promises were made and broken
Again and again and again
As much as I loved and try as I might
I could never be the one that you needed me to be
No, I could never be the one you needed me to be

My mind keeps going back
To the minute I heard the awful news
Of how I spun around on the highway
And prayed that it wasn't true

You needed someone to take charge
Someone strong to steer the ship
But my rowboat had capsized long ago
And I was lost at sea and trying not to drown
And I tried to swim to you anyway, but I just couldn't swim fast enough
I could never be the one that you needed me to be
No, I could never be the one you needed me to be

I knew when you got there
It was all I could do not to fall apart
All I could do not to wish like hell it was me instead in your place.
I would've signed a contract there and then.
To take this all from you.
Would've borne it on myself, and gladly taken it all
But that's impossible
So I couldn't been the one that you needed.
No, I could never be the one that you need.

It's been over six months now
But I'm still stuck inside that day
The shock lingers within me
I keep having to remind myself you've gone away
And I'm haunted still
By thoughts of what I could've done
Should've done
Should've said
Maybe if I had
Maybe if I'd said
Maybe if I did...
Maybe...

Maybe then it wouldn't hurt so damn much right now
Maybe you could've finally gotten what you needed.
And I could've been the one who got to be enough.